Introduction

I am a 39 year old mother of 3 daughters who are 21, 19, and 11. I also have a 3 year old granddaughter. I have been married for 20 years. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia around 3 years ago and have had depression for at least 15 years. My Dad passed away suddenly 5 years ago and my health has been in a down ward spiral every since. I spend a year getting treated very badly by a doctor who didn't believe in fibromyaliga and wouldn't treat or diagnose it. I still get treated badly if I go to the ER for care, they treat anyone with a chronic pain condition like a drug seeker even though I have pain medication. If my pain medication isn't working or something else is wrong that is causing more pain then I already have I am screwed.

 It is hard enough being in pain 24/7, being tired all the time but not being able to sleep, not being able to think the same way I used to due to fibro fog, the list goes on and new symptoms seem to appear daily. I am working but went from working 50 to 60 hours a week to 32 per doctors order. My doctors want me to get disability but we are barely making it now so how can I stop working and wait who knows how long for the government to approve the benefits I have worked my whole life for.

 Right now due to the cost of my medical care and loss of income I don't know how to get out of this hole I am in. All of our bills are behind and can't seem to get them caught up. People are always telling me to be more positive but when you have all the stuff I have on my shoulders it is hard to do that. I just want to be able to pay my bills and take care of my health. The price of everything goes up every day but wages don't go up so how are people supposed to live. When you are sick and have to pay for doctor co pays and prescription co pays on top of the price of food going up, gas going up, everything going through the roof.

I am going to use this blog to share my stuggles with fibromyalgia and to educate people about the illness that affects so many people, most of them suffer in silence due to the way people treat them once they tell them they have it. It is an invisible illness to others but if you suffer from it, there is nothing else you can think about. The saddest thing for me is most illnesses you either get better or die so you know it is going to end. With fibromyalgia you know you will live with the pain with no cure and doctors don't want to treat us due to drug seekers and people getting pain medicine just to sell to make money. I will more then likely vent on here about life and fibro. This is my outlet to get things off of my chest.